Personal – A First Birthday

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So, I’m the mom of a one year old now. It is a very strange thing – I hardly feel like I have been a mother for any time at all, and all of sudden she’s a year old? I mean, I don’t get it. Time has passed so quickly. People told me at the beginning that this year (and the ones that follow) will simultaneously be the quickest and slowest of my life, and I’m totally getting that now. I remember being pregnant and yet, it feels like the time that I was pregnant was a million years ago and went by in a flash. I remember giving birth and having a tiny baby and all the struggles that we went through at first, but at the same time I am having a hard time thinking of little B as anyone other than the funny little person she is now.

And that’s the other thing – when she was born she was this little potato with big eyes. I remember talking with the Boy about how beautiful a baby she was, and yeah, she was pretty cute, but the fact is she has only gotten cuter with age. The personality that has emerged over the last year is funny and joyful, expressive and loving. She looks a lot like I did as a toddler (the red hair helps – have I mentioned she’s also a ginger?), but if you look at the picture of me at her age, and then at her, it is not the same, and those differences – that’s the influence of the Boy. Obviously.

It hasn’t been the easiest time. Trying to get her to learn to nap was a challenge. And then when she started daycare, she forgot how to nap, and we had some rough times. And then she was teething. And then she’s been sick a few times. And recently she’s had a cold and been teething again, and waking up at ungodly hours of the morning. But on we trudge. These years are challenging ones, and I am loving her to bits, but it a hard time in life. In a few years we will be past the teething, she will be sleeping (more) normally, and when she’s sick she’ll be able to tell us what’s wrong. In the meantime, we muddle along as best we can. The nights are long, the mornings are early, and sometimes Mom and Dad fight because we too are sick and tired.

But then we remember how much we love our little B, and how much we love each other. She loves to hug, and is just learning to give kisses on purpose. She adores her big sisters, and it is obvious that they dote on her as well. And when it’s just the three of us – Mom, Dad and Baby, the smallest unit of our bigger family – we sometimes do a triangle hug, and it is just everything.

I can’t believe it’s been a year. A whole year. Only a year. I don’t know what we ever did without her.

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