October // 3 beings who are gone from your life that you’d love to have one more day with. What would you do or ask them about?
This feels like a trick question. Who in your life has died that you care enough about to feel you need more time with? It’s a hard one for me because I actually don’t have a lot of people in my life who have died – as a woman in her mid-thirties, having two living grandmothers feels like a very strange thing. I haven’t had a lot of other relatives die, and so I’m left with actually only three choices!
- My Maternal Grandfather – This is the grandfather that died when I was 8 years old. I don’t have strong memories of him, but I’ve heard a lot about him from my mom and that side of the family. If I had more time with him, I would ask him about his work, and what he thinks of how I’ve turned out. I have a feeling it would be a very strange conversation, because I was only a little girl when he died, and having experienced conversations with other people who only knew me as a little girl…it’s odd. I’m not sure he would even recognize me. But it would still be fascinating.
- My Paternal Grandfather – My dad’s father died when I was a teenager, and we were much closer. I think he would be curious to hear how things turned out for me – college, grad school, career and love. We would probably spend the day fishing while we talked, since fishing was one of his favorite past-times. I would squirm like I did as a child when forced to hook a worm, but it would be exciting for that moment when you get a bite and turn to the other person and say, “I think I’ve got a bite!” I can just picture his smile. It would be a really nice day.
- Toby (dog) – I think this question was deliberately written in such a way for people who care a lot about their pets, and wish they could cuddle them for all of the days. Obviously I have a pet now (Winston, the jerk), but I have a feeling that when he goes at some point in the distant future (oh cats, and their long long lives), I will be sad, but not crushed because he can be a pain. But our family dog when I was in high school, college and beyond was Toby, a beautiful black lab who lived to be very old for such a big dog, but who acted like a puppy until the last year of his life. I’m not sure what I would do with him given a full day. Take him for a long walk, probably. Give him treats and a rawhide bone. Stroke his soft ears as long as he let me, and let him stand his paws on my feet the way that sometimes happened. It would be a very chill day.
Notice how I didn’t mention asking my grandfathers anything. Because if I were to ask them things, it would be the same thing – what life advice do you have? What can you tell me about our family going back? They aren’t complicated questions, and they are ones that I feel comfortable asking. I wouldn’t ask about what comes after life, because I’m really not that interested in knowing that in advance. What happens, happens, and I can’t change it.
But maybe I’m thinking about this all wrong. If you had a chance to talk to someone you loved who had passed – what would you ask them? How would you spend your time so as not to waste it? What am I missing?
Details: This post is part of Project Reverb 2017, which sends out monthly (and sometimes daily during a month-long challenge in December) writing prompts for bloggers. If you’re interested in participating, sign up here.